How to remember new names using the simple Nickname Technique.
I love meeting new people. Which is a good thing. Because on this planet of 8 billion people, there is an endless supply of new people to discover. I meet new people through work, speaking engagements, parties, and a wide variety of social, professional and everyday situations. But like you, If I am not careful I forget names. And I don’t like that.
So I have made a commitment to absorb and retain the names of the people I meet. After all, people love it when you not only remember their name but prove you know it by using it in conversation.
Remembering and using names creates intimacy between people. Real relationships start when you learn the other person’s name. Because you can’t go very deep without starting with this foundational element. And how are you going to connect on social media if you don’t know their name? They don’t have an app for that.
“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
― Dale Carnegie
Lately, I have been looking for new people I can meet and practice my name-retention techniques.
Here is the 6-Step Nickname Technique I use to dramatically improve name-retention.
Step 1: The first step is to actually consciously try to remember the names of everyone you meet, even before you meet them. Preparing your mind before each encounter makes you a ready receiver, primed to Randy Moss that name.
Step 2: I like to be the one to ask for the other person’s name. It’s kinda like being a baseball catcher putting your glove up to tell the pitcher you are ready for them to throw the pitch your way. Only it’s way easier on your knees. If you let the other person share their name before you are ready, it may fly right past you. If this happens, ask them to repeat it. I will also ask people to spell their name if their name is unique. (If they spell it U-N-I-Q-U-E I know their name really is Unique.)
Step 3: Once the other person shares their name you want to nickname them. Connect the person’s name with something distinct about them. This could be their look, their profession, or where you met them. This leads to fun nickname filings in your Memorodex like Network Ninja Najee (My Spectrum internet tech), Up-In-My-Mouth Mindy (my dental hygienist), Eileen Eyelashes, Big Booty Betty and Gorilla Grip Greg.
Note: these nicknames simply serve as your personal reminders of their name in your head. When you use their name drop the Big Booty part.
Step 4: Next, say their name right away. Try something like, ‘It’s great to meet you, Greg. Nice handshake!’
Step 5: Continue to use their name in your conversation to drill it home and lock it in your mind. You might suggest even suggest singing the name game song with them. I especially like to do this with guys named Chuck and Buck. (Message me at adam@theweaponry when you realize why.)
Step 6: Soon after your conversation write their name down or connect with them on social media. I keep a list on my phone with nicknames for quick reference.
A Recent Example
Yesterday I had a great chance to put my name-remembering challenge to the test. A man came to my house to pump out our septic tank. (We called his company ahead of time. He wasn’t a door-to-door septic tank pumper.) When I greeted the man I reminded myself to find something about him that I could use to remember his name.
I introduced myself by saying, “Hello! My name is Adam!”
The septic tank-pumping visitor smiled back at me and said, “Hi! I’m John!”
I giggled on the inside. I knew I would have no problem remembering John’s name.
Key Takeaway
Make an effort to remember names. Go into introductions ready to remember. Then use the nicknaming, repeating and writing-it-down techniques to lock that name in your brain. Name retention is a great skill to develop. It makes you appear more interested in the other person. It helps you deepen your relationship with others. And it makes you a valuable resource to name forgetters who come to you for name help.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.